Womyn, my 2 cents on gender

I hadn't realized I was a liberal feminist until I realized how some other people outside my little circle of normal contacts think. More specifically, how some women think. With a quantitative sociologist at the helm of a class called "Gender in the Workplace," I have been fed some rather tasty statistics about how women are viewed in paid work, and at home. Did you know that women make 70% of what a man makes? Equal work for Equal pay act from back in 1964 was supposed to resolve that, but... Women aren't involved in the higher paying jobs to begin with. They aren't allowed into the professional social networks needed to move up the sexual stratified promotional ladder, and we, as a society, view women as less valuable.  And the ideology that women belong in the home is still rather strong. True, more women are being integrated into the paid work sector, but they are still assumed to do all the housework after they get off of paid work. It seems ludicrous to me, but, as I find out through class, most of the people in my class think it's fine. One Black female (yeah, Black is the PC work for the previous African American) said there's no real reason for a woman to be on the checking account, or involved in any kind of "business." All she needs to do is know how to write a check. Another older female said she believes that men are supposed to work because it says so in the bible, and that it says women are to be subservient to their husbands. The Good Book also says we can stone gays, and that slavery is acceptable... it's all up to interpretation if you ask me.

Another shocking moment was when the question was posed, "Would you be okay with having a house husband?" Or, if a male, "Would you want to be a house husband?" She wrote "yes" and "no" on the board, and let the class chip in their 2 cents. Only 3 people said that it was okay, or that they would be okay in that position. Myself, and older female, and a young Black male were the only ones who said yes. Many of the ideals as to why not, made it sound as though they believe gender (not sex) is a concrete thing, that there is no grey area. You are a man, so you must be masculine; you are a female, you must be feminine. They also seem to believe that it is a born-in trait. Humans, being logical creatures, have the incredible ability to choose how they act, and gender is learned through socialization, not via some kind of man-stinct. Boys don't play with cars because they have a Y chromosome... it's because they were only given cars to play with. Newborn girls don't wear pink because they have a vagina, it's because their parents chose to put them in it. The nature vs nurture has no place in discussion when dealing with gender. Gender is a learned attribute.

I am a firm believer in an egalitarian relationship with my girlfriend/fiancee. There is no reason she should give up who she is when she accepts me in marriage, or in an intimate relationship at all. If the woman finds herself absorbing the identity of her mate, she needs to take a step back and realize where she is going. An intimate relationship among 2 people is that of 2 individuals that start out as equals. If she looses her identity, what reason does the man have to stay with her? What does she bring to the table of the relationship? Whatever he says she should bring? We should both have a say in where we go to eat. We should both get to drive the car. We should both have an equal chance at being successful professionally. We should both have an equal part in raising our child(ren). A father should not be a distant figure that bring money to the family. Money and wealth is an abstract, static idea that children will not understand for the bulk of their childhood. A child needs to know who that guy is who watches TV and sleeps in the house with you and your mom. Having an affectionate, passionate, and caring father figure is one of the only things that can break the cycle of devaluing women, and keeping men outside the home.

Men can cry, we have emotions, we are capable creatures that have been bread to ignore our real potential. Our potential as humans. Women can be strong, decisive, and competitive. We have to realize and accept that as truth before we can truly live in peace among each other, and have respect for everyone equally.